My partner has been split up from his ex for just over two years (was a long distance relationship – he is in the UK and she is in Canada) so apart from phone calls etc they rarely seen each other. well anyway he forgot to log out of his emails a few weeks ago and just before i logged out i noticed an email from her subject: up and down flies the emotions. I know i shouldn’t have but i was curious and read the email thread (see below). at the time this was sent i was 38 weeks pregnant, she knows about me and the baby. I had my little boy just under a week ago. well i just wanted advice on what to do, i’ve not mentioned anything but feel hurt by this, but kind of guess its my fault for reading it.
she sent the first email
Hey.
>
> Up and down flies the emotions so sometimes staying away or out of touch is the best thing. What do you think?
followed by his reply:
I feel ya, dreamt about you 2 nights in a row, first night you were happy n all, we kissed (passionately). second night i looked everywhere for you and when i found you you were staring into space looking really sad, you hardly acknowledged my presence.
I cannot tell you what to do, but if you feel that’s what you need to do then i can’t do much about it.
just wish things were different.
then she replied with this:
I just don’t want to fight with you. You are a very special part of my life that is no longer existing but I still
have days when I dream about you and I just get up and pray about it. The last time I dreamt about you was last week or so and we were happy together. I woke up and I smiled knowing that the hurt in my heart is slowly healing. Since we have broken up I have been going through a difficult time fighting "high blood pressure" and now I am on medication for it. My health has plummet to a place that I cannot afford to get too stressed out about anything, so I would rather live a very simple uncomplicated life. I really don’t ask for much more than let the peace of God remain forever within me/us. I know that we will forever be good friends but that will happen as time heals all our wounds. I have started to exercise again and I lost some weight(only 5 pounds so far) I was thinking of sending you some pics but I am scared. Why? I don’t know. I am not the happiest person because of my health among other little things(finances) having not worked for almost 2 years, going back to school (for 1 year) and finding a taking a year to find a job so i cannot possibly catch up on 2 yrs can I ? But hey I am hanging in there….. ……….Always remember you are incontrol of your happiness do not let anyone take that away from you I promise I will never intervene in your personal life again, words cannot express how sorry I am and how stupid I was to let you go through the pain of loosing me again..I am so sorry and please forgvie me. We made something called an "unholy convenant’ or "soul ties" with each other and it is going to take a long time to break that( you may not understand what that is though). I really miss our friendship and sometimes I silently hurt an I pull away to ease the pain it has been 2 years and sometimes it hurts like it was yesterday….I was laying in bed the other day and I was thinking about the good old days which I try to block most times but I ended up smiling and falling asleep as I thought about those days one thing about it is there is always something to smile about,when it comes to us and I hope that God will continue to keep you in his care. Hey listen just be at peace with the situation and I would talk to you more often but I just don’t want anything to ruin what is left of our "friendship’ and that is my biggest fear. I am glad you are in the drivers seat in your relationship now so continue to enjoy the ride press on the gas and don’t forget when to change the gear and in case of emergency dial 911 (lol). I don’t know if I can go to Jamaica this year but a break would do me some good, don’t get me wrong I am not depressed even though I go through my modd swings I just need some time away from bills etc and some good relaxation will do me well. I will be sending my son down in the summer with my mom though. You have heard some of my heart today. (YEAH!!!!!!)
I will always be
"She".
well anyway, what do you think (sorry it’s long!)
thanks
bumblerumble or whatever you are called, it’s not like i’ve put their ‘yes thats how you spell it’ names or email addresses on here is it?!
i wouldn’t contact the woman, but didn’t know whether to say anything to him or let it go. I’m just scared
That must have hurt so badly, reading that. I don’t blame you for reading it; anyone would have done the same. Your emotions will be all over the place anyway at the moment due to all the hormonal changes with the pregnancy and birth, so don’t forget to take account of that too.
All I can say is you need to ask him whether he thinks this sort of emotional relationship with someone else is appropriate whilst he in a long term relationship with you. Ask how he would feel if he discovered deep and meaningful conversation between you and another man, telling him how you dreamt of him passionately etc.
Men can be very dense about this kind of thing. As she sent the first e-mail, it’s possible he is only politely responding and saying what he thinks she needs to hear (she does sound a little off the wall!).
Either way, you do need to discuss it. Don’t be ashamed of reading the e-mail. If he hadn’t written it there would have been nothing to read, would there? 
Hope it all goes well for you. Take care of yourself. You should be enjoying this very special time as a family; don’t let someone else take that away from you.
13 Responses to “email from my partners ex?”
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you say you shouldn’t have been curious, but yet your putting thier personal information on the interent, that’s just rude.
all i can say is ask him about it.
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Yeh gal she is really on it with ur man! lol can’t believe it she knows of u dont she? well she should get lost! why dont u take her email without telling ur partner reply on his behalf and pretend to be him and say sorry honey i am happy with my wife and dont like u and want u to stay away or will call the devil to get u! lol
Dats a good one so silently she will get lost! and ur man is all urs.
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I would have a problem with it and would speak to my man immediately. Don’t let him get away with that "why are you going through my stuff?" nonsense. Good luck and God bless.
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That must have hurt so badly, reading that. I don’t blame you for reading it; anyone would have done the same. Your emotions will be all over the place anyway at the moment due to all the hormonal changes with the pregnancy and birth, so don’t forget to take account of that too.
All I can say is you need to ask him whether he thinks this sort of emotional relationship with someone else is appropriate whilst he in a long term relationship with you. Ask how he would feel if he discovered deep and meaningful conversation between you and another man, telling him how you dreamt of him passionately etc.
Men can be very dense about this kind of thing. As she sent the first e-mail, it’s possible he is only politely responding and saying what he thinks she needs to hear (she does sound a little off the wall!).
Either way, you do need to discuss it. Don’t be ashamed of reading the e-mail. If he hadn’t written it there would have been nothing to read, would there?
Hope it all goes well for you. Take care of yourself. You should be enjoying this very special time as a family; don’t let someone else take that away from you.
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Abort the baby and kill him
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ya should just have it out with him coz if u reply to the email as him an ur guy finds out how will he be able 2 trust you an ur relationship wil be over.
good advice
tell him
bad advice
dnt be sending the email as if ur ,ur guy
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Me
I think that she is just reminising about what has been in the past. There is nothing concrete and I really dont think that anyone could possibly think that a relationship could start up again with them. Trust your man and just forget about it.
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they are both lying to each other to make each other feel bad for leaving one another. He’s happy and start a family with you, especially he’s with you every night not her. therefore don’t worry about it let them play their little mind games. You will be the bigger person in this picture. Focus on your baby and show the world that you’re happy with what you have. Don’t let him see your down sides he will grab it as an excuse and use it toward your relationship.
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I must admit i did feel a little uncomfortable reading someone’s private thoughts/message and i have just skimmed it tbh. I do think, though, if i had been in the same position i too would have read his emails. I wouldnt have been able to resist the temptation. However, ignorance is bliss but unfortunately you can’t turn back the clock.
Its very difficult to say what the right thing to do is. After all, you were heavily pregnant at the time (hormones!) and now you are coping with being a new mum (more hormones!!) so you are extremely vunerable right now. Can you not perhaps bring her up in conversation and see how he reacts, rather than confront him head-on? He may then tell you that he has heard from her and you can discuss it from there.
I do feel for you, your emotions must be all over the place at the moment, never mind having to deal with an ex-girlfriend on top of things!
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No doubt, your situation is scary. Having a baby with someone who may still have deep, if not complicated, feelings for their Ex is no position to envy.
What you have to decide is whether or not you want to continue your relationship, (which is now a family), with your partner knowing that there is some potential lying or cheating going on, and choose to never address it, OR if you want to talk to him about what you read, with the hope that you can have an honest and open partnership regardless of what is revealed in your talking to him about the e-mail.
BTW, since everyone involved knows that you are the girlfriend/wife and now mother of this persons child, it should go without saying that whatever “issues” his Ex is having with getting over him and their past relationship, should be handled without her having direct contact with him, such as this e-mail. She’s isn’t THAT clueless and neither is he in my opinion. From what I read, they are flirting, albeit in a very adult manner; making it seem as if they are trying their best to not cross any lines, BUT… you fill in the rest.
At the very least there is some emotional cheating going on here, and none of it would be alright by me, especially after having just had his child.
If you’re willing to go along with that extra person being involved in your partnership,(and she IS involved), then don’t talk to him about the e-mail. But as a famous Princess once said, “Well there were three of us in the marriage so it was a bit crowded,".
Good Luck
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That is an hard one, but if you say nothing you will forever live in hurt and fair which will eat you away.
If you are strong enough to live with it then do so, but if you cannot speak your mind and let this person understand how you are feeling. If you had an ex and he sent you such emails and you reply and entertain the email he would not feel happy about it.
I would not feel too happy with it but it is always best to talk and get it over with. he sounds like he is not over the ex and the ex not over him. in other words they are not over each over. be careful and stay on your guard. Take care
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I know that must have been horrible to read and hide from your boyfriend and he might have just been saying those things to make her feel better but it doesnt mean its right. He shouldnt be having those kind of deep conversations with an ex in that way. I looked at my bf’s mail once when his ex kept contacting him and found something I didnt like. It is hard because you feel guilty for betraying your boyfriends space and trust. But now that you have done it you cant change how it is making you feel.I think you should be honest with him it is the only way you will know what is going on in his mind and what it means to him. I think it might drive you alittle crazy otherwise. She sounds like she isnt saying anything too out of order but then again it all seems very personal and very memory based. Its not right. I think a big talk is in order and honesty is key. Good luck,
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personal experience
What was the need to post all the details?
The real issue your trust or lack of it.
Speak to him and deal with that.
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